Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Day 229: Am I in Hell?

On the third and final day of the Arden's Garden Love Your Liver 3-day cleanse, I accomplished quite a few firsts, which is a good thing for me because I was not in any mood to seek out any new activities.

I, along with the help of my colleagues, counted down the hours until I could go home, go to bed, and wake up to eat solid food. Nothing cooked, of course, but at that stage in the game, I didn't care. I'd eat raw for the rest of my life if it meant I never had to drink Multi Max again.

Day 229's things I've never done before were to:

Carry around and consume a gallon jug of distilled water similar to how beefed up guys wearing Zubaz pants do at the gym. Water was the only thing that I could actually drink without any negative reaction.

Stand up for myself when a coworker in New York belittled me and tried to bully me into doing something for her. The entire confrontation (or perhaps the starvation) made me shake like a leaf and almost cry, but I'm happy to report that juicing makes me less of a pushover.

Nearly hallucinate. This one is questionable, but I can tell I have never felt so strange in my life. The ride home from work was foggy at best, and when I heard the me new song by Usher's OMG on the radio and I thought I might've died. And gone to hell.

In an effort to not make Day 229's thing I've never done before to throw up at work, I opted not to push myself with the juices. My gag reflux was working overtime and I was done with the entire experience. If that makes me a quitter, then I resolved to be just that.

I did reconnect with my dad on Day 229, confessing to him that the reason I hadn't returned his phone calls was because juice fasting makes me want to cut myself off from the world. And I was afraid to call him, or anyone, back because I was afraid if I did, I'd act like a bitch.

Without getting too graphic, if cleansing was supposed to cleanse the body of "sluggish elimination" (that's what Arden's Garden calls it, I'm not kidding), then it was a colossal fail. My pants definitely felt looser, which is a plus, but I'm not sure any of it was worth it.

And maybe I could've achieved the same results having taken it easy on the Coors Lights, added a few more vegetables to my lunch plate and logged a few more minutes in the gym.

Perhaps I'm a glutton for punishment, but I'm not opposed to fasts or cleanses, and might be up for trying another one.

Just not this one. Ever. Again.


  1. Reading your blog posts from your Three Day Cleanse surprised me! As a matter of fact, I actually had almost the exact opposite experience; drinking the juices was a walk in the park and I actually didn't mind how they tasted, but I felt SO HUNGARY the WHOLE TIME (especially at the end of Day One). I should have followed the instructions better, because the day before the cleanse I ate as I normally do (I am a vegetarian that eats cooked foods). I had one very small episode of "sluggish elimination" on the morning of the first day and that was it. I think I would do better with a cleanse or detox like this but with one tiny meal thrown in each day or something. But don't beat yourself up about not finishing! (I slipped in a 1/3 a can of veggie soup the first night...oops).