Friday, December 7, 2012

my little miracle baby.

As suspected, the response over my new iPhone has been overwhelmingly positive.

Funeral Guy, who would prefer it if I started calling him by his real name, Jacob, shook his head at me (he does that a lot) when I told him that I couldn't wait to see the looks on my naysayers faces when I told them I'd joined the 21st century.

"I'm Instagramming!," I said, "They're gonna freak."

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I don't think he could quite grasp that anyone would care this much about my phone.

But I knew they would.  And I was right.  

"Your texts are blue - does that mean what I think it means?"

"You got an iPhone?!?!?!?!  OMGGGGGGGGGGGG."

"How's that touchscreen treating you?!"

My friend Amanda came over to my desk and gave me a hug.  Like a for real, two arms around my shoulders hug. 

“I’m so happy for you,” she said. 

I seriously thought she might cry tears of joy.

"You know it's just a phone, right?  Not a child.  A phone," I said as she returned to her chair.  

But she wasn't the only one who treated my new phone like I'd just had a baby.
"How are you adjusting?," someone else asked me. "Don't you just love it soooooo much?!  Isn't it the best?"

These remarks amused me so much that if I didn't think it would send my mom into a tailspin of depression about never getting real grandchildren, I actually thought about sending out a Christmas card featuring me and my new child.

Happy Holidays Apple Nerds!

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I have an iPhone now which makes me infinitely cooler than everyone else!  Sorry if I haven't returned your phone call, I've been too busy Texting, Facebooking, Emailing, Spotifying, Tweeting, Instagramming, Face Timing, Words with Friendsing, or doing other things I could never was able to do with that sucky flip phone.  I still have the flip phone - you know, for posterity's sake.  Can you believe it?!!?!  What was I thinking?!?!?!?!  Hope your holidays are full of easy-to-find 4G hotspots and quick as lightning downloads!!!!!

Happy Holidays!!!
Love, Stephanie (and iPhone)

Don't worry, Mom.  I'm not sending a card like this.  But you'd be embarrassed if I told you how much I actually thought about it.

But the iPhone has become like a child in a way.  I'm always checking on him to make sure he's fed charged and in a safe place (i.e. not bouncing freely in the bottom of my purse).  If this phone is any indication of what kind of parent I will be - my kids can look forward to happily being passed to anyone who can show me what to do with them and therefore might, on occasion, slip from my hands onto the floor.

The teasing hasn't stopped - only instead of teasing me for not having an iPhone, everyone teases me about not knowing how to use it.


It's true, there are things that I need to learn. Like how to save Instagram photos to my photo gallery.  How to clean the screen.  I had to download 3 different Emoji apps just to get the Emoticon tool bar to show up in text messages.

I'm one week in people, cut me some slack!  T9 word wasn't learned in a day - but I'll get there.

People didn’t really answer my requests for the call last week to call me or text me their contact information, so I’ve been forced to fake it on text when they do – asking strangely probing questions over text to see if I can figure out who they are without coming right out and asking.  So if you know my number - "Call me, Maybe?" Sorry - I couldn't help myself.

And I'm still at a loss about apps, so tell me your favorites so I can be in the know.